Transitioning a Loved One: Lessons Learned

As we age, experiences come along and we ask ourselves, “Why did no one tell me how hard this is?” Transitioning a loved one to a long-term care residence is one of those events for many people. It is an emotionally charged undertaking and can be very taxing for everyone involved.  I've had the experience of moving loved ones several times; most recently we moved my father. Though my experiences, I’ve learned several valuable lessons that will support you and your family through this challenging transition.

·        Let your loved one choose the facility. Many people dread the thought of living in a nursing home, fearing that they will lose independence and control over their lives.  You may make the transition easier for your loved one if they make their choice from a “short list” of possibilities.  Reassure your family member that if for some reason it doesn't work out, they may move.  Rarely is any decision permanent.

·        Visit and call often. Many seniors feel lonely when they first move into a care facility.  Frequent contact will reassure your loved ones that they are not forgotten.  In time, they will make friends with the other residents and no longer feel so alone.

·        Get to know the staff. Despite the challenges of caring for people in a facility who are used to living on their own, staff members form strong bonds with the residents.  Remember, these are the people providing the hands-on care for your loved one 24 hours each day, day in and day out.  By showing empathy and understanding to the staff and asking about their lives, you are helping them help your loved one.

·        Participate in the creation and implementation of the care plan. The staff members are the professionals, but they don't know your loved one as well as you know your loved ones.  You can shed some light on ways your family member may benefit from the services provided. 

·        Participate on the advisory committee. Some nursing homes have a committee made up of residents and/or family and community members.  The goal is to assist the administration with suggestions regarding concerns and improvements.  Ask about participating on this committee, and if you can join, you will get a first hand view of the challenges faced by the residents and management, and you will be a part of the solution!

·        Take good care of yourself.  This is an emotionally taxing and often times aggravating time in your life.  Knowing that you are doing the best you can and when you feel like screaming…scream, crying....cry....and find someone you can share and confide in without guilt.  Your folks will be happier knowing you are happy and healthy.  

      As a result of my personal experience I am now dedicated to supporting families in similar situations. Whether selling a home, finding a new location or just providing resources, our team understands the emotional challenge of transitioning a loved one to a care facility especially in today’s economic condition. 

    My Mom and Me

O   My main goals in writing this blog was to start a conversation. So many people have had similar experiences but in the moment it often feels like you are very alone. If you have personal experience or lessons learned please share!  I look forward to hear your story!